In These Moments
by milkthepanda
Summary: [SessxKagu] They met in secrecy, their love forbidden and destructive. They can't be together, and yet they can't stay apart. Hidden promises can't be kept, and still they try. Nothing but these moments matter now. It keep them sane, it keeps them free.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own InuYasha. All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. I just hope I do them justice.

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**In These Moments**

_By: Caffeine Lover

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"Jaken-sama! Jaken-sama!" the hyperactive female youngster squealed as she unethically glomped the unsuspecting kappa. "Where has Sesshomaru-sama gone off to? When is Sesshomaru-sama coming back? Has Sesshomaru-sama left us again? Did we do something wrong, Jaken-sama? Should Rin pick flowers as an apology for Sesshomaru-sama? Should I? Should I? Should I?"

Jaken's small toad-like face soon became a strange mix of red and purple, partially because of the lack of air that he was receiving with Rin's strong grip around his neck, and partially because the child's queer questions were beginning to unnerve him.

"Gah!" screamed the lesser youkai as he flung the child off his back. "You insolent child! How on earth should I know where my Sesshomaru-sama has gone off? And if you even think about picking flowers, I'll leave you – I swear to the Kami I will!" Jaken threw Rin an annoyed (but half-hearted) glare as she cowered off towards Ah and Un, bottom lip quivering as unshed tears threatened to fall from her brown orbs. The child's caretaker sighed, a sigh that sounded too heavy and filled with too many responsibilities that a youkai of Jaken's status should not know of (he was a lord before, you know).

"Come, you ignorant little brat," Jaken began soothingly with an outstretched hand. "Let Jaken-sama accompany you to pick some flowers." Rin's round face immediately lit up as she gave her baby-sitter a toothy smile and a squeak of excitement. It was their way of apologizing to each other; Jaken would offer some sort of peace offering, and Rin would accept with a silent promise not to inform Sesshomaru-sama of his ill behaviour towards her.

It was a good arrangement, and Jaken figured that if he were to be left with someone to baby-sit, then he might as well take proper care of the said person. Rin might be annoying…but at least she saw him more as a companion than as a lowly demon.

As the trio (or quartet, if you count Ah and Un as separate beings) walked down the rugged dirt path towards a field of lovely wildflowers, Jaken thought with a little crease on his forehead, _Rin is right. Sesshomaru-sama has been disappearing more often than usual. I wonder what my lord is up to…_

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Across a green field of tall, knee-length high grass, a lone figure sat rigidly upon a large grey boulder, his location exactly four miles away from that of his companions. His long, silver hair flew elegantly against the wind, as did the left sleeve of his garment, which was empty because of the absence of his left limb. His face held no emotion whatsoever (not that it did on a regular basis), but to anyone who knew him well, they could tell immediately that he was irritated.

Maybe even to the extent of being pissed.

And as the wind around him picked up to that of a typhoon, Sesshomaru sat unmoving atop of his stone, his face held high as he regarded the almost invisible controller with a sharp, "You're late."

True to his word, a small black dot appeared against the bright blue sky, its appearance telling the inu youkai lord that his visitor was soon approaching. The dot grew and grew, soon revealing a beautiful female figure with ebony-coloured hair in a high bun, crimson orbs, pale skin, and red lips. Sesshomaru drank in the sight of the wind sorceress, appreciating the way that her body seemed to contrast with everything else – her presence soon relaxed the youkai lord, and he nearly smiled when she finally jumped down from her enormous feather, a scowl adorning her heavenly features.

"Don't give me that look!" Kagura snapped un-lady-like as she stood in front of him, her hands balled into tight fists as they rested heavily upon her hips. Her eyes darkened with annoyance as the winds soon died down around the couple, the white feather transforming back into its original form as it floated back towards the ground, but not before Kagura caught it in mid-air. "That damn Naraku dumped me with all these fucking errands before I could come – just appreciate the fact that I didn't just ditch this whole idea and go and rest."

Sesshomaru's face remained stoic and expressionless, but his eyes clearly shown a deep amusement as a ghost of a smile laced with his lips. He loved to see Kagura all flustered and annoyed; her cheeks coloured into a delicious pink and her eyes danced like fire as her already intoxicating scent spiked with an unmistakable fury. However, that was not the only thing that he found amusing; it was in fact the last comment that Kagura had made. They both knew that even if she were near-death with all four of her limbs missing, she still would have come as they had previously arranged. But all Sesshomaru said was, "You're late."

Kagura rolled her eyes in a sarcastic manner as she retorted, "You don't have to state the obvious, Sesshomaru-_sama_. I already apologized, okay?" The kaze youkai walked around Sesshomaru's form to sit on the opposite side of the boulder, her small back against the leaner and broader one of demon lord's. She relaxed when she felt Sesshomaru lean slightly against her, her almost permanent scowl leaving her face as a true genuine smile decorated her face instead.

The couple sat in silence, back to back, as they both closed their eyes and just treasured and enjoyed one another's silent – but comforting – company. Any passing youkai or humans would have immediately assumed that they were a mated pair, spending quality time together and to bask in their closeness.

But, no one would have passed by. No one _could_ pass by. Sesshomaru and Kagura had gone to great lengths to ensure that their private get-togethers remained private, remained a secret. This was their only means of sanity, their only way of holding onto reality without breaking. This was the only time where they could hold each other without prejudice, without the cruel judgement of others. Both Sesshomaru and Kagura played a certain role in their everyday lives, and to the public eye, they were not seen as partners or lovers, but as enemies that sometimes turned into allies. It was in this freeze in time where they could show their true colours and not be ashamed.

Of course, Sesshomaru could have cared less. But it was for Kagura that he ensured this secrecy, this ludicrous hiding. He remembered her tears from that day, the day when he had inquired her why that they must hide like cowards. Kagura was sorry, she had told him, sorry for the pain that she had unknowingly inflicted upon him. It was not her intent – she only wanted someone who she could cling onto, and have them cling back. She never thought that it could grow into what it was now… and it was for her own selfish need of survival to put them _both_ into danger. Sesshomaru understood, and had licked her tears away, which was the only remedy that he knew of that would slowly mend her heart.

The only sad thing was that as soon as these meetings – these moments – began, they stopped. Neither Kagura nor Sesshomaru could stay for long (no matter how much both of them craved for a longer, postponed amount of time), so they had to appreciate and satisfy themselves with what they _could_ have, which was always never enough for their hunger.

"Is something bothering you, Sesshomaru?" The inu youkai stiffened momentarily – which the wind witch had noticed – but he immediately relaxed, the silence serving as his answer. Kagura sighed in exasperation and offered, "You're less talkative than usual, you know." At the realization at her comment, Kagura giggled, her hand to her lips, as she shook in mirth for a minute. Sesshomaru raised an elegant eyebrow in question as he resisted the temptation to turn his head around and ask her what was so funny.

"If I have nothing to say, then I say nothing." Kagura rolled her eyes at his statement, but she leaned in more comfortably into Sesshomaru's back, letting her body heat warm him up – as well as his heart.

"Seriously, Sesshomaru! What the hell is bothering you?" Kagura turned her head around, only to have her eyes meet the back of Sesshomaru's head. His hair gleamed marvellously in the bright sunlight; the light silver turning into a platinum white depending on which angle he turned his head.

Kagura had always known that Sesshomaru was beyond god-like, beyond beautiful, beyond perfection itself. When she had first met him on that starry night, when the moon was giving off that ghost-like glow, she had thought that Sesshomaru was a celestial being of some sort, having come down from Heaven to save her from her manipulated fate. The first thing that she had noticed about him was his eyes – those smouldering, haunting, golden amber eyes. They held so many secrets, so many promises, so much hidden _pain_. Of course, Kagura soon noticed the other masculine qualities of Sesshomaru, but when she had landed noisily in front of him with a "Yo", she was not prepared to have been captivated by his eyes so _suddenly_.

Maybe it was then that she had felt an undeniable attraction towards Sesshomaru. And maybe it was when she had insulted him that Sesshomaru had felt some sort of emotion towards the fiery goddess.

But in all this time, Kagura had never truly seen how glorious Sesshomaru's hair was! Sure, she had admitted somewhat grudgingly that it was nice (that it was unfortunately better behaved and kept than hers), but Kagura had never felt a sudden urge to run her fingers through his silky locks, to see how soft it really was, to see if it was as smooth as it looked.

"Hmm…you have really nice hair…" Sesshomaru almost froze as he felt the kaze mistress' nimble take a lock of his hair almost delicately, feeling a slight tug as she moved down the length of it, feeling its texture. By now, Kagura had stood up, her front facing the back of Sesshomaru. Both of her hands dived into his hair gently, massaging is scalp expertly as she ran her fingers down the thick strands of Sesshomaru's hair, enjoying the velvety and soft feel of it between her digits.

Sesshomaru had closed his eyes by now, growling ever so softly as he leaned into Kagura's soothing touch. Kagura gave out a small laugh, enjoying the obvious reaction that she had gotten out of the usually stoic and icy lord. She felt a strange possessive and euphoric feeling welling up within her. It occurred to her that only _she_ could do this to the almighty Lord Sesshomaru and receive such a reaction; it was only her, Kagura of the Wind, that could touch Sesshomaru's hair and not have their head taken off for such a vile act. Kagura was the only being on this planet that he allowed himself to he hugged by, to be loved by, to be kissed by, to be _touched_ by. He was never the one who had started the "cuddling" sessions, it was clearly all Kagura's doing. He was never the one that began the exchange of loving endearments (and he never replied to them, either – not that Kagura minded).

And Sesshomaru and Kagura were perfectly content with the way things were.

Kagura had kneeled behind Sesshomaru on the boulder, the front of her knees gently brushing against the backside of Sesshomaru. Her hands had gathered up all of the demon lord's hair before dividing them into three equal sections. Soon, she began loosely braiding his silver locks.

"Sesshomaru…" Kagura breathed gently into his right ear, "I personally think that you look better with your hair in a braid…" Sesshomaru resisted the urge to shiver against the wind witch's raspy voice, so he growled instead. Kagura again laughed, the twinkling, merry sound that Sesshomaru craved and enjoyed so much. It wasn't often that the usually scowling youkai lady smiled and laughed…but she often did, whenever she was with him.

Sesshomaru relished that piece of information and tucked it in his memory for later use.

Kagura hummed an unrecognizable tune as she slowly and very lightly licked the outer shell of the inu youkai's ear, beginning at the lobe and trailing up towards the pointed tip. Sesshomaru's hand had slowly reached up and cupped the back of Kagura's neck almost lovingly, before turning his head towards hers and gently pressed her tempting mouth against his.

They kissed passionately, fervently, exploring each other's familiar depths, as they tasted one another's intoxicating essence, the one part of them that was distinctly theirs. Kagura's arms wounded their way around Sesshomaru's upper torso, her hands softly caressing his collarbone and broad shoulders. Sesshomaru growled in approval, before deepening the kiss even more by tilting Kagura's head back just a smidge.

It was in these moments that everything truly mattered. Nothing could touch them now; nothing could hurt the protective shield of happiness and love that they have surrounded themselves with. It was these moments that made everything seem worthwhile – every hardship, every frustrating event – it was all paid off by this small amount of time and closeness.

The one part where they could both taste freedom – if even it's only for a moment.

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"It seems that she has taken a liking to that _dog_," the small lilac-haired boy minion spat. His light lavender eyes narrowed in disgust as he turned towards his master and away from Kanna's all-seeing mirror. "What shall we do to her, Naraku-sama? Not only has Kagura betrayed us a numerous times, but now she is frolicking with the enemy…" Hakudoushi turned back towards the cryptic glass that was held in between the ghost-child's small hands, which showed a clear image of Kagura and Sesshomaru sitting atop of a boulder, kissing and embracing each other tenderly.

Naraku chuckled darkly before taking the mirror from Kanna's still hands. The little albino child gave it to her master with little resistance and an emotionless expression, but for once, she was truly worried for her younger sister.

"We'll allow her to enjoy it for now," the dark hanyou muttered with superiority. "After all, why not let Kagura have some fun? She must be tired from all the hard errands that I've been sending her on…" His mocking edge was laced with a deadly dose of sarcasm, and when Hakudoushi realized what Naraku had meant, he smiled gently.

The boy turned towards the mirror possessor, and asked in almost a teasing voice, "Shall we go and greet our sister at the front gates, Kanna?" She didn't reply, for fear of them hearing the sudden terror being echoed within her voice. Instead, she merely nodded towards the demonic little boy, and handed the baby-half of Hakudoushi to Naraku.

She was done guarding and protecting that vile thing, for now, she had to protect the one person which Kanna had ever thought of as family in this Hellish existence.

Kagura.

Kanna got up silently as she followed Hakudoushi out of Naraku's private chambers and into the large (and dead) garden outside. There the duo stood, waiting for their long-lost sister to return home.

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"You asked me what was troubling me earlier," Sesshomaru began, his large, calloused hand currently clutching onto Kagura's smaller one. The kaze youkai's head rested casually on top of Sesshomaru's right shoulder as her arms were draped over his chest, her face towards the inside crook of Sesshomaru's neck. Kagura breathed in the delicious scent of her companion, lazily kissing the skin there, silently encouraging him to continue. "I just want to know: how long?"

Kagura chuckled lowly before kissing the skin before her again. "I still have some time, so don't worry, okay?" Sesshomaru merely grunted in acknowledgement, but even though his conscience was telling him that something was amiss, he dismissed the thought immediately and went back to focussing his attention on the beautiful demoness before him.

After all, meetings such as these with Kagura were scarce, and he had to make good use of them whenever the Kamis have granted the couple with such a gift.

After a while of more cuddling, half-hearted arguments, teasing, and kisses, Kagura sat in between Sesshomaru's legs, her back against he large grey boulder that her lover sat on. She traced lazy circles on his knee, only to distract herself from the sudden urge to hop onto her feather and return to her "master".

Naraku was calling her.

Kagura wanted to prolong the time that she had with Sesshomaru, but she knew that if she didn't move fast now, Naraku's cursed insects would come searching for her – and that would only rouse more trouble. She stood up reluctantly and turned around to face the tai youkai, who in turn gave her a look that clearly asked, _Now?_

The wind sorceress nodded, sighing, as she looked at Sesshomaru with such longing that it frightened her. Forbidden words arose inside her mouth, threatening to fall out like vomit and display the contents within her heart. In all this time, the couple have never expressed anything deeper than companionship and lust for each other – anything beyond that was painful, unmentionable.

Why promise something when it could never happen? When you could die the very next day? Instead, Kagura and Sesshomaru exchanged tidbits of their emotions through kisses, through their actions. Anything verbal would break the illusion that they have set around themselves, and in process, one of them would die.

It was better this way, this silence. Even though it was painful, the truth being unveiled would hurt more. Their situation was like a double-edged sword – no matter which way they swung, someone would still get cut.

She leaned down and brushed the silver bangs from Sesshomaru's forehead, before delicately tracing the blue crescent that adorned the centre of his face. He closed his eyes as he breathed in the scent of her, imprinting her feel, her taste, her sound, and her smell to memory. He didn't know when he might be able to see her again, and to ease himself of the heartache when she wasn't there; he needed these elements to sooth him.

It may not be the real thing, but it was enough for a little while.

Slowly, she brought his mouth to meet hers, kissing him one last time before she left. The kiss was painful, sweet, and full of unmentionable, forbidden feelings. When the panting couple finally parted for air, Sesshomaru breathed out, "Don't go."

Kagura's face scrunched up painfully, tears nearly spilling from her eyes. That was one forbidden phrase that was unmentionable, and much to both of their disappointment, Kagura could not make the promise that she would like to.

And so, Kagura makes the only promise that she could right now at this point of her life.

"I'll come back, Sesshomaru…" The demon lord nodded slightly before chastely pressing a kiss to her red lips again. It might not be the answer that he wanted, but it was the only thing that Kagura could offer right now.

"Will you wait for me?" Kagura asked as she turned around, a single white feather in hand.

"Always" he replied firmly, with confidence.

Kagura smiled sadly and threw her feather up into the air, leaving her sanctuary and sanity behind her.

It was the last time that Sesshomaru had seen Kagura.

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**- The End -

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**The Coffee Corner:** I hope you liked this one :-) Please read and review, thank you!


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